Tuesday, September 4, 2007

I am a geologist

Last week one of my geologist friends tweeted the link to Geologist in the Uncyclopedia . From the introduction :

Geologists are 'scientists' with an unnatural obsession with rocks and alcohol. Often too intelligent to do monotonous sciences like biology, chemistry, or physics, geologists devote their time to mud-worrying, volcano spotting, fault poking, and high-risk colouring.

One of the main difficulties in communicating with geologists is their belief that a million years is a short amount of time. Consequently, such abstract concepts as "Tuesday Morning" and Lunchtime are completely beyond their comprehension. (This difficulty generates problems particularly when dealing with the girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse and attempting to explain why you were "gone for so long" or why something is taking "so long to occur.")

While the Uncyclopedia is a 'tongue in cheek' view of wikipedia, I found that a number of the observations under "how to spot a geologist" rang true for me and about me. Here are observations from Uncyclopedia that are me!

  • Hand-lens, compass, pen-knife, handcuffs etc. tied round neck with string.
  • Takes photos, includes people only for scale, and has more pictures of rock hammer and lens cap than of his family. (I took 500 pictures in Australia ...more than 300 were rocks)
  • Someone who considers a "recent event" to be anything that has happened in the last hundred thousand years.
  • Someone who licks and/or scratches & sniffs rocks or in case of china clay will eat it to prove its perfectly safe.
  • Someone who will willingly cross an eight-lane interstate on foot to determine if the outcrops are the same on both sides. (I've been run off the highway by state and local police more that once)
  • Someone who can pronounce the word molybdenite correctly on the first try. (yes I can!)
  • Someone who has hiked 6 miles to look at a broken fence that was "offset by a recent earthquake".
  • Someone who says "this will make a nice Christmas gift" while out rock collecting. (yes, my nieces, nephew and sisters have received rocks as gifts...and my brother got meteorites)
  • They look at scenery and tell you how it formed
  • Pockets tend to be filled with bits of rock.
  • The rockery moved into their spare room. (no...we have a rock garden in the living room)
  • They have more pairs of hiking boots than shoes.
  • Someone who prefers to explain the sequence of events shown in a cliff face to sunbathing
  • They plan extra time on trips to investigate road cuts along the way.
  • Someone who walks out of a bathroom and asks if you noticed the fossils in the stall dividers. (that's me! don't be afraid)
  • Someone who walks into an art museum and looks at the floors and columns commenting on the stylolites and fossils, rather than looking at the paintings. (guilty--I also walk through cities look at the building stones and occasionally pull my hand lens out of my pocketbook to get a better look at the minerals)